Schwelmo's Welt

I just thought to come up with a stupid headline and think I did pretty well. It might be too much sun I had on my 2-week holiday. My best friend L. came down with his girlfriend K from Germany. I haven’t seen him for a while (2 years) and was quite curious to see how it will be. Nothing changed, what’s a good thing. Even the contact we had was restricted to a few emails before he came down I couldn’t notice a difference to when I left. Well, I guess that’s how it is between friends. I was also excited as I had a good reason to leave Palmy for a while and actually see something of that beautiful country I live in.

We had a good start as their luggage got missing and we stayed a night in Palmy to wait that their stuff got delivered on the next day. To sweeten our stay we went to a BBQ at friends place where I promised K.and L. some live Irish music. This way they also could see some of my friends here. We drunk beer and too much whiskey (I think I must have been forced as I don’t like it). Subsequently our early start was delayed to about 4 (pm).

On the way to Mordor (Tongario National Park) I accidentally bought tramping trousers in XXL and realized “no more whiskey for me” ( as I have size S here). The next day we did the Tongario crossing which was crowded, full of Germans but beautiful. Even it was cloudy I was quite happy this time as it cleared up when we came to the Emerald lakes. Last time I did it I only could see 2m in front of me (it is not fun to walk through a white wall for 17km).

We spent New Years eve at the Rhythm and Vines festival in Gisborne. 18h to Kiwi Reggae. I loved it, sunshine, beautiful girls and wind (well that wasn’t so good). K. and L. bought 3 Cds of the bands playing, decided to get married and we listened to Fat Freddys Drop for the next 10 days non-stop so I figured they liked it as well. The Maori population is quite high on the East Coast and we runned into some from the local "Coffee Tongue Iwi".

After that we visited the gannet colony at Cape Kidnapper (Toelpel unter sich). We walked there. It’s a 6 h walk (return). When we came in sight of the gannets and their chicks we tried keep our distance and not to disturb them. Perlen vor die Saeue! Just at this moment the trucks arrived. Each with three hangers carrying about 40 tourists. Cape Kidnapper ADVENTURE tours, yeah right! Well I don’t think they actually deserve to see it. OK, if you are a retard under 6 or over 67 or (genetically) overweight person then that’s might be your only choice. But about half of them were in their mid-twenties, some having rastas or wearing Che Guevara T-shirts. Yeah guys, that’s against the establishment, FUCK YOU! The trucks driving you there release probably more oil into the sea as you had dolphin on your last tuna pizza after your “swimming with dolphins” ADVENTURE. I know, the guide told you that the chicks die once they fall out of their nest, because the mother stop feeding them. But I guess they just get stucked on the wheels of all this squads and trucks driving there. I still enjoyed it!!

We had a terrible rainy drive to Wellington and 2 Guiness (after the drive). The next shock came when we took the ferry to Picton at 3am. We got told not to take any pigs, pig semen or embryos to the South Island (It had something to do with saving the New Zealand agriculture). So I asked them where I could get rid of my 20 kg pig semen I had in my boot and what to do with the embryos on the back seat (don't click that link if you are not feeling 100%). As they didn’t had any storage place in the terminal we throw it into the sea (just kidding, we sold it to McDonalds. Kidding again we didn’t had any semen or embryos, or did we? You shouldn’t go to McD anyway. For more convincing reasons read/see: Fast Food Nation, No Logo, McLibel, Supersize Me, McSpottlight).

On the South Island we stayed 2 nights in Havelock refusing to eat green mussels. We stayed at the Blue Moon a backpacker with a lovely and very chatty host who show us the local glow worms. Glowworms in Aotearoa are actually worms, not as our Gluehwuermchen, which are fireflies (I think..help me, Pete). Well, I would show a picture but the only one who took one used the flash (it was not me!).

I ordered a vegan breakfast at the Black Cat Café. It ended that I bought some baked beans at the supermarket next door and they heated them and put them on toast with no butter. A long way to go (actually only to Nelson, see below)!

In Havelock I also realize that he only French sentence I can speak fluently actually doesn’t help you to get into conversations. I warned her she will be offended, but she insisted to hear it.

After some sea kayaking in the Malborough Sounds, which started in good weather and ended that we got picked up half way as rain and wind were against us, we went on to Nelson. At Zippys I got some real vegan food (yummy Chocolate Cake and Muffins, mmmh Muffins).

We spent 2 nights at the Abel Tasman NP just to hang out at the beach (I walked it already twice so I wasn’t too keen to walk it again). We saw dolphins and a sexy lady from East-Berlin. (As I have seen dolphins before I was more moved by the latter).
K. and L. got a rental car and got hit (after 10 min driving) by a young girl. Unfortunately she was so stupid to make a runaway so that the cops deal with it now.

I went back home and they on. Somebody painted a beautiful sunset into the sky while I was

waiting for the ferry. Good design but not very intelligent. One highlight was that I got told I have a bit of Kiwi slang, but it probably just meant I have a funny mix of German and Kiwi accent but still don’t speak no English.

Back home we had to de-flea our flat. After that I went to the Celtic (For those who have seen “Shaun of the Dead” … the Celtic is like the “Winchester”). On the way I met one old flatmate, two friends on the supermarket car park and one of my old students. So the 20min walk took me about 1h. At the Celtic were the same people I left there 2 weeks ago including my 2 French flatmates. Looks like I am at home in Palmy!!!

It’s rainy and windy. Nothing changed.

Not quite true. I just heard Tana Umaga stepped back from the All Blacks. That's a shame. I loved watching him. Partly because he looks funny but mostly because he was an awesome player and captain. But I think he has chronical hayfewer and lives near a pollen factory. Maybe he is just always stoned. Have a reason to see a Hurricanes match now.

# posted by Schwelmo @ Saturday, January 14, 2006