Schwelmo's Welt

I am getting a bit nervous as my visit in Germany is coming closer and closer. Funny, when I bought my plane tickets I was getting a bit homesick. I haven’t really been back since 3 years, except for a 10 day break which was exhausting as I was telling the same stuff to different people 24/7. I was happy to sit in the plane (being on my own) flying back to “Suicide City”. It is funny. Palmerston North is trying hard to get itself a profile, trying to introduce icons and a common motto to help people identifying with this little town. What sticks for now is John Cleese “Suicide City”. He was much more successful with his naming than all the previous professional attempts. And he had a much lower budget (none) to come up with a label. The city council tried hard with i.e. “Youngheart-easy living”. That didn’t last (I think it is not used anymore, is it??), even they named their first division football club “Younghearts Manawatu”. There is probably no easy living in a suicide city anyway. But there are a lot of young people in this city what would at least support the youngheart bit. Subsequently the new advertising campaign is “Palmerston North-Student City”. That is pretty much as crab as the other campaigns before. It basically says the city is here because of the University and the people of the City are here because of Massey as well. The definition the whole city as “Student City” implies no life/city in the semester break. How do they want people to identify with this city if they base it on the students, which are not from here, only here for half of the year and as soon as they are finished go somewhere else. And by the way, the student city has an entertaining program which only exist of bad 80-popcharts disco pubs, where under 23 year old drinking alcopops until they spew up. A student city should offer something more exciting. (John Cleese was here during the semester break so he missed the “student life” and was fully exposed to the suicidal tendencies in Palmerston North.) But I think this is the problem with young, not slowly grown cities. There is no history, especially no common one between the people living here. And people usually don’t stay here for long (they mostly move away and don’t commit suicide) so there is not a big chance that this will change very soon. And the icons they choose for the city are pretty exclusive as well. I mean they exclude a lot of people. First there is that clock tower on the square (the square is a place in the center where retards driving their boyracer cars in circles and try to pick up similar retarded girls….they are mostly under 18 so they might grow out of it). While the tower itself might have an ugly fascination it is decorated with an illuminated cross. The illumination of that cross is a pure waste of energy, but more important it shouldn’t be there at all. The Square is a public place, a place for all citizens. So the dominating feature should not be something which only appeals to people with Christian beliefs. Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mind crosses on top of churches but not in a public place/building. Another chosen icon are the windmills on the ranges. Unfortunately they are not in Palmy. That wasn’t very clever neither.

The newest one is a bird, the Pukeko. A bird I never saw in and around Palmy. But I never went bird watching.
Funny, on the nzbirds.com webpage they say:

“I have come to the conclusion that Pukeko are suicidal. I so often see them on the side of the road, dithering, darting backwards and forwards, looking for an opportunity to cross, only to come back later to see them squashed on the road. They seem to have no road sense at all. However, the ornithologist WRB Oliver had other ideas when he said, “The Pukeko is a bold and fearless bird. It has learned that trains and motorcars are harmless and takes no notice of them.”"

Well, why do I get nervous. The thing is, I like Palmy. I like the speed of life. I like the people here. Nobody is taken himselves too seriously (except at Uni as everybody thinks his subject, research blah blah is the most important). People are pretty down to earth. A lot of foreign cultures meet and connect here. Even this might be directly caused by the “nothing to do here”. The most positive thing you here about Palmy is : “It is pretty central so you can reach everything in 2h” (= ”I like it because it is easy to get away from it.”) But anyway, I am used to it now and everybody who lived here for a while does enjoy his or her time. I am just not sure why (people of Palmy, maybe you know why!).

I am nervous if I am not sure I can cope with the life in Europe anymore. I sure I can. But I am not sure if I want.

Here is what John Cleese thinks about Palmy. Found at stuff.co.nz

No one likes to hear unkind comments about their hometown but like it or not, all places in New Zealand are created equal. What appeals to one person is guaranteed to be hated by others – especially those impossible-to-please notorious nitpickering celebrities. British comedian John Cleese's recent website comments about Palmerston North have offended mayor Heather Tanguay. Cleese, of Monty Python and Fawlty Towers fame, stayed in Palmerston North last November as part of his My Life, Time and Current Medical Problems tour. Cleese called the city "the suicide capital of New Zealand" and said "if you wish to kill yourself but lack the courage to, I think a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick." Cleese didn't stop there, saying the "weather was grotty, the theatre (where he performed) was a nasty shape and the audience was very strange to play to". Cleese said he had a "thoroughly bloody miserable time" in the city.

Snob!!!! I give him the weather though.

Last week there was Karneval in Duesseldorf. That means a million visitors, everybody is dressed up, completely drunk and dancing on the tables to very bad music. Four days non-stop. I am not a “Karnevalist” so I don’t miss the Karneval at all (but the Altbier involved). I must admit I always took part while I was living in Duesseldorf. But hey, I didn’t really have a chance. You have to leave the town to stay out of it. In Palmerston nearly every party is a dress-up or theme party. I am not sure if I like it or not. Even the Massey student association (Musa) turned their orientation gigs into dress up events. Some very good bands like Kora or Rhombus played this year and then they make a Toga party out of it. It does not really make me go if I need to wear a Toga. And how do you look cool in a toga?? Who is shaving my back?

I am still hoping the nightlife in Palmy will somehow improve. But instead I heard the Guvnor’s the only place with some live rock music in Palmy closing its concert part. Mainly local punk and death metal bands performed there and most of them have more school band quality but some are quite good (i.e. Black Chrome or Black Pudding). But it was still an alternative to A) The Celtic (Winchester), B) to incredible bad 80s music and charts which is played everywhere else (except in A)) and C) Karaoke (where people mainly sing stuff mentioned in B)). On the other hand Death Metal and Punk concerts are a bit like doll up parties anyway having their own dress codes as every youth movement. So it looks like next year (if I am still here) I need to dress up if I want to see any kind of gig (I should work so I don’t have time to go to any show anyway).

Recently I found myself dressed up “frequently”. I was invited to a wedding (actually I kind of sneaked myself into the wedding as somebody’s partner couldn’t go and I was the substitution date). I decided to wear a suit not to stick out too much. I got this marvelous tie for 50cent that somebody knotted for me a year ago so I was able to show off. And I actually like it. Maybe partly due to the Johnny Cash movie (“walk the line”) we have seen the day before. Of course you need a guitar or a gun to look proper in a suit. I pulled out Dorberts guitar (guns are stupid and not so easily available) and decided I have the right look to pose on stage. I borrowed a bass again and currently learning to play a little bit. Even I still can’t play shit I look pretty professional (only when I wear a suit of course). The style is everything Yvan!

I went to a 30s birthday. As the birthday child was Scottish it happened to be a Scottish Theme party. So I had the pleasure to wear a kilt. I was wearing it the whole day and consider getting me own kilt. But I haven’t figured out my colors yet. But it is very comfortable and I quite like the look. You even don’t need to shave your legs, I think. Unfortunately the summer seems to be over. I shouldn’t have worn that kilt all night and day. I got a cold now. I better wait till summer before I buy my own one.

Somehow everybody seemed to connect Scottish with bad haircuts as well (it look a bit like a Heavy Metal gig). So it was a gathering of 80ies mullets in kilts. I am a bit worried as I heard too often it looks quite natural on me.

The ladies were quite attracted by that. I am not sure if was because of guys in skirts or because of the mullets. I am a bit afraid it might be the latter.

This is a Haggis. Scottish delicacy. It is normally made with the following ingredients: sheep's 'pluck' (heart, liver, windpipe and lungs), minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally boiled in the animal's stomach for approximately an hour. Apparently it is good. I found a vegan recipe for haggis . I can’t tell for sure as I haven’t tried neither of them, but just the ingredients of the vegan version sound much more appealing to me.

Just in case you ever wondered how moths fly around a light.

Just a short post. I am 31 now, enoyed a great weekend somewhere in the middle fo nowhere at the Rangiteki river. More maybe later because I am working even some of you don’t believe it. Somebody even accused me to have started blogging to extent my time in Aotearoa as I spend too much time writing instead of working. I wouldn’t mind to stay a bit longer so she might be partially right. So I am working. I need some results as I am supposed to go to Cairns for a conference. If the avian flu hasn’t killed me after my trip to Germany I might do some swimming with sharks and crocodiles over there.