Saturday, April 08, 2006
Fit for the World cup
Since two weeks I am officially part af a soccer team. The first time since 13 years (fuck I am old). I signed a contract (only that they know I will pay my fees..unfortunately they do not pay me for playing which is understandable). I got my own shorts and socks and I even could choose my trikot number. I will play with the 13 on my back for Palmerston North End. We play in Baby-blue with white socks. A complete optical joy. Unfortunately the socks were bought in a "one size fits it all". If I would wear them the way the manufacturer intended it, they go from my feet to my hips with the heel of the socks about the high of my knee. And no I am not the smallest guy in the team.
As my technical skills are very limited and my fitness is not that great neither I play only in the 3rd team. Our team arrived today to 80% hangovered. So our biggest success was that nobody spew up. Our team seems to be the towns collection of chain smokers, unfit older players, bad young players, bodycontrol-dylexics and even one asthmatic (!). About 4 out of 13 players actually can stop a ball. The first game last week was lost 6:0 but I didn't play. So this was my first game and because of the lack of talent in our group I was allowed to play for 90min! Whatever I susposed to have done that was a harsh punishment. The last 20 min I just tried to make telekinetic contact to the ref to stop the game earlier.
Anyway apparently we improved compared to last week. I played offense had the honour to score the first goal of our team this season. But before you are getting too proud off me..I actually did not really shot it by myself. Somebody shot the ball against my hip and from there it went into the goal. Our own goal. (Football wisdom # 12: never have your own striker in your own penalty box) I actually think I also scored their second goal (me and their striker slided about synchron towards the ball and one of us pushed it over the line) but their striker was so happy about HIS goal that I did not mentioned it to anybody.
To my defence I also got the assist of our goal. Annoyed the hall out of their defence player and got even called a cunt. From the other team . My team was nice to me . Even I managed to shoot over the goal from about half a meter in front of it. After the game they told me I played well and did good work. (Don't tell anybody, but I don't think they get the game). I am suposed to play 90min again next week.
For the ones who didn't get it we lost 2:1 and are probalbly "Palmerston North End-of the-table". But hey 1:2 is an improvement to 0:6 isn't it??
PS: Did I mentioned that we played against about 14 years old boys???
As my technical skills are very limited and my fitness is not that great neither I play only in the 3rd team. Our team arrived today to 80% hangovered. So our biggest success was that nobody spew up. Our team seems to be the towns collection of chain smokers, unfit older players, bad young players, bodycontrol-dylexics and even one asthmatic (!). About 4 out of 13 players actually can stop a ball. The first game last week was lost 6:0 but I didn't play. So this was my first game and because of the lack of talent in our group I was allowed to play for 90min! Whatever I susposed to have done that was a harsh punishment. The last 20 min I just tried to make telekinetic contact to the ref to stop the game earlier.
Anyway apparently we improved compared to last week. I played offense had the honour to score the first goal of our team this season. But before you are getting too proud off me..I actually did not really shot it by myself. Somebody shot the ball against my hip and from there it went into the goal. Our own goal. (Football wisdom # 12: never have your own striker in your own penalty box) I actually think I also scored their second goal (me and their striker slided about synchron towards the ball and one of us pushed it over the line) but their striker was so happy about HIS goal that I did not mentioned it to anybody.
To my defence I also got the assist of our goal. Annoyed the hall out of their defence player and got even called a cunt. From the other team . My team was nice to me . Even I managed to shoot over the goal from about half a meter in front of it. After the game they told me I played well and did good work. (Don't tell anybody, but I don't think they get the game). I am suposed to play 90min again next week.
For the ones who didn't get it we lost 2:1 and are probalbly "Palmerston North End-of the-table". But hey 1:2 is an improvement to 0:6 isn't it??
PS: Did I mentioned that we played against about 14 years old boys???
# posted by Schwelmo @ Saturday, April 08, 2006 
Comments:
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yea thats a very funny post indeed. I wonder how you can name a team "palmerston north end". Isn´t "Palmerston North" the Maori word for "end".."end times.."? And be happy you´re team could also play in Babypink! But its good to see that NZ seems to make it to FIFA World cup 2010.
Ahahahahahahahahaha!!
Dodo
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Ahahahahahahahahaha!!
Dodo
# posted by 
: 3:07 PM, April 25, 2006
: 3:07 PM, April 25, 2006 Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
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