Schwelmo's Welt

Since a week we got two new flatmates. David, my new French flatmate decided to get under the pig farmer and bought two Kune-Kune's, which living now in our back yard. They are very, very cute! But I am afraid David is seeing only bacon and ham in them. Unfortunately I can’t convince him to train them as truffles pigs. Mainly because I don’t think there are truffles in Aotearoa. He is even refusing to give them names. He doesn’t want to get attached. (And anyway, didn’t your mother tell you not to play with the food.) I think, I call them Tofu and Seitan, with Tofu being black and Seitan ginger. So this Xmas I will eat neither Tofu nor Seitan. There are lovely animals and actually a kind of very self sufficient way to transfer your rubbish into meat. Apparently they are also highly intelligent. Tofu and Seitan have probably a very nice live compared to most of their specieskind-meat-producer. They are only as big as a little dog and have a bout 8 m2 and a little shed, can lie in the sun or shade under a tree. They also have a lot of apples which fall from the apples trees around them. Awwhh…sounds like paradise! But from day one they were checking out the fence for any gaps. You should not cage animals! And today they managed to escape, not wanting to become bacon! Run Forrest, run!

Unfortunately I didn’t think they would survive long outside, them being babies (6-8 weeks old) and it being bloody cold at night. There are also a lot of cars in Palmy. We saw Seitan on the street and tried to catch him. But did you ever tried to catch a pig with two people on an area bigger than a football field (or at all). Plus having bushes and trees around? However, at one point (scared by a minivan) Seitan decided to go back into the backyard (No trace of Tofu since we detected they escaped). That was easy, we thought. Only noticing that Seitan was this time escaping into the bush in the back of the house. I followed him, as I thought, once in the bush he is gone forever. I managed to catch up with him. I talked to him (running after a pig in flip-flops in the bush is fucking useless) “come on. you die here. come back, be very nice to David so he doesn’t eat you and use you as a truffle pig” I also made him coming close to me sniffing my hand, but I couldn’t grab him as I was standing in flip-flops in the mud holding myself on a branch with one arm not to fall. Anyway, somehow he didn’t trust me anyway and decided to run back into the neighbours bush, backyard, garden, drive way, on the street into our front yard. I was following. In our garden we finally managed to corner him. We put him down with two people (Man, they scream!!!) into a box (Man, they can jump!) and back into the re-enforced paddock. So I spent my whole afternoon in chasing my flatmates Xmas dinner, that all being vegan! What the fuck was I doing? And not only that! At night Tofu came back in. He was probably spending the day in the pub and now queeking and complaining in front of the cage as he couldn’t get back in!

I could have spend the whole day writing….but that would be boring!

Pic1: Seitan digging a new escape tunnel, while Tofu "steht Schmiere"

Pic2: Seitan waiting for cuddles

Labels: flip-flops, pigs, procrastinating, vegan

# posted by Schwelmo @ Wednesday, March 28, 2007