Schwelmo's Welt

Since a week we got two new flatmates. David, my new French flatmate decided to get under the pig farmer and bought two Kune-Kune's, which living now in our back yard. They are very, very cute! But I am afraid David is seeing only bacon and ham in them. Unfortunately I can’t convince him to train them as truffles pigs. Mainly because I don’t think there are truffles in Aotearoa. He is even refusing to give them names. He doesn’t want to get attached. (And anyway, didn’t your mother tell you not to play with the food.) I think, I call them Tofu and Seitan, with Tofu being black and Seitan ginger. So this Xmas I will eat neither Tofu nor Seitan. There are lovely animals and actually a kind of very self sufficient way to transfer your rubbish into meat. Apparently they are also highly intelligent. Tofu and Seitan have probably a very nice live compared to most of their specieskind-meat-producer. They are only as big as a little dog and have a bout 8 m2 and a little shed, can lie in the sun or shade under a tree. They also have a lot of apples which fall from the apples trees around them. Awwhh…sounds like paradise! But from day one they were checking out the fence for any gaps. You should not cage animals! And today they managed to escape, not wanting to become bacon! Run Forrest, run!

Unfortunately I didn’t think they would survive long outside, them being babies (6-8 weeks old) and it being bloody cold at night. There are also a lot of cars in Palmy. We saw Seitan on the street and tried to catch him. But did you ever tried to catch a pig with two people on an area bigger than a football field (or at all). Plus having bushes and trees around? However, at one point (scared by a minivan) Seitan decided to go back into the backyard (No trace of Tofu since we detected they escaped). That was easy, we thought. Only noticing that Seitan was this time escaping into the bush in the back of the house. I followed him, as I thought, once in the bush he is gone forever. I managed to catch up with him. I talked to him (running after a pig in flip-flops in the bush is fucking useless) “come on. you die here. come back, be very nice to David so he doesn’t eat you and use you as a truffle pig” I also made him coming close to me sniffing my hand, but I couldn’t grab him as I was standing in flip-flops in the mud holding myself on a branch with one arm not to fall. Anyway, somehow he didn’t trust me anyway and decided to run back into the neighbours bush, backyard, garden, drive way, on the street into our front yard. I was following. In our garden we finally managed to corner him. We put him down with two people (Man, they scream!!!) into a box (Man, they can jump!) and back into the re-enforced paddock. So I spent my whole afternoon in chasing my flatmates Xmas dinner, that all being vegan! What the fuck was I doing? And not only that! At night Tofu came back in. He was probably spending the day in the pub and now queeking and complaining in front of the cage as he couldn’t get back in!

I could have spend the whole day writing….but that would be boring!

Pic1: Seitan digging a new escape tunnel, while Tofu "steht Schmiere"

Pic2: Seitan waiting for cuddles

Labels: flip-flops, pigs, procrastinating, vegan

# posted by Schwelmo @ Wednesday, March 28, 2007 6 Comments

I know I, I know. I didn’t sound very positive lately. But I started to think that thing gonna get better. Honestly, I mean on a world wide scale. Ok the US declared war on terror made the world a more dangerous place and operation Iraqi Freedom turned into a total disaster. But at least the American public changed and even George Doubleevil Bush had to admit he was wrong. One day he might even say " I am sorry!", after he starts drinking again.The same happened with climate change. While there was a denial over the last decades, everybody seems to agree know that it is happened. It is not positive that we are drifting into a big mess, but at least people are aware now, can get prepared and do something about it to make it less dramatic. Yay!

Labels: vegan

# posted by Schwelmo @ Friday, December 08, 2006 4 Comments

I might be more an Aussie than a Kiwi…and that after all those years.

A few weeks ago I saved a possum, I mean I did not kill it. I hope you realized, that this very dangerous what I am doing here. Making public in New Zealand that I let get a possum away on purpose. The archenemies of every Kiwi (I mean the people and the birds) seem to be possums. I think even New Zealand Vegans and priest (actually, that I know for sure) kill every possum they see. So if you don’t here from me for a longer time than I might be in serous trouble or finally started non-stop writing. The preferred way to kill a possum is by driving over it. It very easy, as they stop on the road and basically look into your car light until you smash their head. That might be a bit stupid, but they are no cowards running away. You might call that attitude (that’s what cat owners apparently like on their cats, even I think they are just to stupid to learn and that is mistaken by attitude [gonna get in trouble for that as well]).

Anyway, back to my possum… After a late night at Massey (that is the Uni not a pub!!), I was driving home, while I saw a possum crossing the street. It looked cute..but somehow stoned, while it walked like a bodybuilder. Possum have short front legs so it looks like they have very broad shoulder, when they walk. It stopped in the middle of the road and looked into my front lights, awaiting its death (stupid…bodybuilder like ??). If I would be a Kiwi I would had exhilarate and mad the possum “platt wie ne Flunder”. I thought about the noise it would make and all the intestine and blood, fur and bone pieces stucked on the road and my car (I just got new tires as well). And, anyway, what did that possum do to me? Its no his/her fault/choice to be a possum anyway. So I slowed down and stopped. The possum acknowledged its future and thanked me by nicking twice. Then it went slowly with even broader shoulders to the other side of the street. Maybe it was a bit arrogant and thought it was tougher than my car.

Anyway, I was proud of myself. When I told other people they reacted with fury and misunderstanding. While possums are endangered in Australia they are considered to be a pest here. People, owning domestic cats, told me “don’t you know they kill native birds?”, people feeding ducks and pigeons in the parks said “don’t you know they transmit diseases?”. Farmers who cleared their land from native forest, to have more space for sheep and cattle, are suddenly concerned about the native bush destroyed by possums. Yeah right!

The main excuse is “theyu are not native so its OK to kill them.” But so aren’t cats (Do you drive over cats?), dogs, European ducks, sheep and cows, trouts or deer. And ..ah humans. You don’t drive over humans do you. Even they brought pretty much every pest (including possums) to New Zealand and killed most of the native birds (“When was the last time you saw a Moa?”) and bush!

And unrelated to that I finally found a beer which I really, really like. Coopers Pale Ale (See on the picture with some beautyfull stirfry, with noodles and Vegan Oyster Sauce)

It is bottle fermented, family owned and Australian!

PS: I do think possums are a problem…but I will not kill them. I also think they look cute.

Labels: Australia, dairy, Farming, New Zealand, Possum, vegan

# posted by Schwelmo @ Wednesday, November 15, 2006 0 Comments

About 3 weeks ago I decided finally to write my thesis. I thought I really have to do it. Otherwise it might be to close to be finished before my visa is running out. And then I thought that it really sucks writing for 24/7 just when summer starts. I also can’t go away over summer. So I came up with following selfish plan. After 3 weeks of writing (HAVN’T WRITTEN A WORD YET) I deserve a holiday, not a big one but at least one holy day. OK, I am not religious, but the 1st November is World Vegan Day. Ahh, and I am eat Vegan! So I send out that email to ask if there would be anyone interested to go spending a day somewhere “far enough away from Palmy that it doesn’t feel like Palmy, but close enough to go back to work the next day” and also celebrate World Vegan Day with a Vegan picnic, drinking vegan New Zealand brewed beer and throwing Frisbees and kicking balls. As I am the only Vegan I know here, I also thought I might get some food, which I didn’t need to prepare myself. Yeah., finally other people cooking for me! And the only thing I had to do was sending out a bloody email to ask if people are keen. And they were! A lot of people seemed to like the challenge of cooking with a handicap. (Actually I hope that it isn’t that alienated anymore for some). And also a lot of people are waiting desperate for summer and doing something with it. So I actually got heaps more response as I expected, when I decided at the Saturday in three weeks ahead will be good weather and people will cook especially for me. While you might call it selfish I think it is the most Buddhist thing I ever done. Five or 6 years ago I went to see the Dalai Lama giving a public lecture at Eden Park in Auckland. As far I remember, he said it is good to be selfish. If you are selfish, you are looking for your own happiness. But you only find true happiness (and we are all looking for true happiness and not schadenfreude (why do they only take bad words from German into English?? Why isn’t there actually an English word for Schadenfreude, that they have to take ours..are we that bad??)) , if people around you are happy as well. So you help them and try to make them happy. I kind of think a lot of people did actually had quite fun to cook something vegan (maybe the first time in their life) and to have a reason to go out of Palmy, even just for a day. The latter is probably the main reason why people were so keen. I should have done similar things before (it always depends, what YOU make out of it).
But I feel a bit under pressure. As I am the only Vegan , I should know how to cook Vegan (which isn’t that difficult). But I did a big mistake. I made stuff I never cooked before. I made a parsnip-carrot-cashnew roast. (by the way: does anybody know what parsnip are in German and are there parsnips Germany??). Parsnips have a kind of anis taste, which you like or hate. I also made a vegan pizza. But instead of doing a pizza I made before, which was very yummy.,….very, very yummy…. I tried out a completely new recipe.
Not sure about the taste (how do you want convince people that vegan food does not need to be bad, pale , if you cook something you never tasted before) …willl see tomorrow! Especially the “cheesy topping” which cost a lot of money did not convince me. But I had fun cooking, listen to Punk, Heavy Metal and a bit of Soul very loud on my mp3 player. I especially recommend Sepultura while doing the dishes, or maybe Aretha Franklin. Parliament didn’t work at all. I haven't thought about "Fresh Fruits for Rotten Vegetables" from the DK's which actually seems to be appropiate.
Part of the fun might have been the six pack beer (“Royal Dutch Post Horn Lager” beer), which I haven’t checked to be vegan or not.
The good thing with vegan food is that is automatically ”halal” and “kosher” (das nenn ich mal Bruecken bauen zwischen den Religionen) . I asked my Muslim flatmate, if it still will be kosher…ahh …halal (it’s the same anyway), if the cook was drunk. He said, it would. He also told me that meat (not from a pig of course) is halal as long no human being had sex with the goat, sheep, chicken, cattle or fish (sex with fishes??? You are sick, people!). While this might be a problem for a lot of Muslims in Australia, Scotland, New Zealand and Greece ( “IS YOUR SHEEP/GOAT REALY A VIRGIN, MATE??”), I am quite sure nobody had sex with one of the vegetables we are eating tomorrow. Well, kind of sure. Don’t wanna think about it at least….., but then …NO.

I also decided only to celebrate days which are important to ME. So there is no Christmas (OK there is as I have a day or 3 off and all other (Western) people do something,) ……..25th of November is BND….”Buy Nothing day”! ("Wer jetzt noch kauft ist selber schuld." "Spend a day without spending!") And also “Day against Violence Against Women”. Maybe we can combine it, having a gathering only with things we didn’t buy which don’t harm women. But then I don’t really like shoe parties!

Oh, I realize that I am actually quite drunk…..well, that is cooking.

Yeah, that was fun. Even though it was a bit hard to get out of bed (due to the Post Horn Dutch) I got up early and started to worry as the sky looked a bit cloudy and especially dark near the mountain range were the picnic was suppose to be venued (making up words here, I think). It turned out to be warm and sunny. Most found the way somehow, with some deciding to take a longer scenic gravel road (OK, apparently the description of directions was kind of bad). Spending a nice afternoon playing picnic cricket, soccer,drinking beer and getting sunburned (again). There was also yummy food, and thanks for the effort guys and girls!! With pizza (which turned out to be very nice, partly because of Do’s herbs in the base), Tabouleh, frozen smoothies, selfmade hommous, a tahini banana tart, vegetable roast and marinated Tofu! And falafels which haven’t been eaten, but I am sure they were great. Yeah! And I could eat it all! And especially Jen’s brownies! I loved them! Thanx again!

When I was just thinking about leaving the Kiwis arrived as well. More beer, salads and sausages for the BBQ! !!!!!!!!!!!! And a bit after my flatmates came. The ones without demand for kosher, halal food. My Pakistani flatmate would have been handy to
explain us cricket....

Labels: brownies, celebration, cooking, cricket, halal, holy day, kosher, music, muslim, parsnip, people, punk, schadenfreude, vegan

# posted by Schwelmo @ Sunday, November 05, 2006 4 Comments

Are you sick of eating bad meat but can’t be bothered to become vegetarian? Stop worrying now. The FDA and Intralytix just came up with a solution. No more “Gammelfleisch” or bacteria poisoned meat. In the US they just approved the use of viruses which will kill bacteria in meat.

“The special viruses called bacteriophages are meant to kill strains of the Listeria monocytogenes bacterium, the Food and Drug Administration said in declaring it safe to use on ready-to-eat meats prior to their packaging.

The viruses are the first to win FDA approval for use as a food additive, said Andrew Zajac, of the regulatory agency's office of food additive safety.”

The company Intralytix also plans to seek FDA approval for another bacteriophage product to kill E. coli bacteria on beef before it is ground. Well, that’s a great idea considering the number of E. coli in stomach flora (although phages should usually work against bacteria very specific but I am not sure if it is strain specific). There is a possibility that bacteria can get resistant against phage (the viruses). As there are truckloads of bacteria on meat, which due to the progressive and modern farming methods already have a high antibiotica resistance we can make now superbacteria out of them. But I am sure they have intensively test everything and are not hurrying to bring their second product on the market. And why was everybody afraid that the bird flu virus could change and mate with the human influenza virus...?? Well, I do not understand enoug about viruses, so maybe I am just against progression.

Ah, in case you think that you’ll just avoid the food products that have been treated… they’re not going to label the products. :-)

I liked this comment on the topic....but I am biased. Look at printer friendly version

Labels: food industry mafia, vegan

# posted by Schwelmo @ Tuesday, September 05, 2006 2 Comments

I am back in Aotearoa, the land of the big white cloud. That it deserves its name became quite obvious as soon as we reach the airspace of Auckland airport. Due to fog we circled for 1.5h over the sea. Every 15min the pilot told us: “We can’t land right now. Due to bad visibility but we are expecting to land soon. We have enough petrol to circle for another 2h..1.75h…1.5h.” I got worried when he said: “I would land but the visibility would make it illegal to land right now but it is clearing by the minute. We have enough petrol to circle for another hour and if we can’t land then we need to go to Sydney.” Sydney??? Was he kidding? That’s a 4h flight! How does he make it with petrol for 1h?

Anyway, we could land early so that I didn’t need to find out. My French seat neighbor actually seemed to have another explanation (no...just a funny accent) as she asked: “ Wee caant land becoise of the fuck?”.

After the Biosecurity check at the airport I soon realized that the domestic airport was completely unable to deal with the fog situation as no plane could land or start before noon in Auckland or Christchurch. I wasn’t even able to get in the airport to check in again as the people from the 9:30 flights were still lining up (it was 2pm). I probably would have helped if their open more than only half of counters. Anyway I somehow made it and catch a train from Wellington to Palmy. By then I was so tired that I just tried to keep awake until the ticket officer checked mine. In the time between I saw him coming into my wagon at the other end and reaching my seat I fall about 10 times into (a second) sleep.

Having my own room and bed again what feels good. But it is raining and cold and I miss you guys in Germany heaps! Good to caught up with you!

I could give you a complete description about my time in Germany but that would bore you and it would make it too long to read. But I want to say I loved to see each of you again, realized that not much changed between most of us and more important: Nobody turned into a completely asshole. And all the new partners of you I met seemed to be very cool as well. So I see, I don’t need to look after ya. I would have loved to spent more time with each of you. But that’s life. You should go when its best and I really enjoyed the last three weeks. The wedding of Buzzer and Kati was a real good ending. I couldn’t have wished for a better one (Big kisses also go to the secretary without glasses!). I didn’t want to leave after. I just left the country because I couldn’t drink as much beer for another day! Tomorrow I will look for a detoxification opportunity or just go to the pub. Anyway, on the plane I decided that I don’t want to wait another 3 years to see you again.

After I stopped shitting in my pants (I still hate flying) my trip to Singapore was eased by my neighbors which were very nice and we basically talked for 12 hours (one a 30 years old beautiful Serbian women, married to a 50 year old German diplomat, who is responsible for all Germans in Indonesia, East Timor and a few other Islands. Themselves living in a high security area in Jakarta, not having a real relationship as he was quite busy the last year (Tsunami, Earthquakes, Civil Wars, Volcanic Eruptions). They can’t get out without bodyguards and even there are 17 million people living in Jakarta they don’t have any contact to Indonesians. Apparently the air is so polluted that you don’t see much of them anyway. After she told me that she always has huge accidents (ran over by busses, trains etc.) without major injuries and I got worried again that our plane might crash and she would be the only survivor).

In this time in Singapore I got a bed without bugs, which was good but didn’t make want to stay in Singapore even for the 30something hours. Unlike in Germany or New Zealand I really feel in Singapore that I don’t belong there. Actually it made me feel not to belong to this world. So I spent my time with lying awake at night watching movies with plane crashes, looking at strange fruits in a weird city and having beer and noodles with stuff in vegetarian restaurants. I have to say stuff as I do not really know what I was eating. But it was really nice and I even looked for a bookstore to find some recipes (bought a T-shirt instead). They assured me it was all vegetarian and even vegan. But it was called vegetarian “chicken” ,“sharks soup” , “shrimps” etc.. I don’t know I guess a lot of it was a kind of Seitan (“Praise Seitan”) or marinated and/or smoked Tempeh or Tofu…it definitively was not fish/meat.

I seem to be kind of hooked now as the first breakfast I made here was noodles with veggies and tofu! I loved it!

Big hugs and kisses!

P.S.: Viele Baeume, eine Strasse! Allee, Allee!

How the fuck could Italy become world champion??????

Labels: flying, French, Germany, people, Singapore, vegan

# posted by Schwelmo @ Monday, August 07, 2006 2 Comments