Schwelmo's Welt

This post was actually a comment on Dans blog but I thought this might be also interesting for broader public. He was complaining about Monteiths Summer Ale missing American (minor breweries) beers. Well, my only memories on American beers is that they either were way too thick and dark English style ones (also warm and too much of a caramel taste) or the waterly world cup sponsor like Budweiser. I remember I became friend with Rolling Rock without finding it too fancy. Think he is right with the New Zealand beers being not very…?? exciting. I still like Monteiths Golden or Original. Being German I think it is his right punishment as he bought a beer not brewed after the purity law and containing extra honey (being vegan that can't be right for me as well). But let me warn you! Since I drank Kiwi beer for the last 3 years my taste for beer seemed to have changed. I drink and enjoy beers I never liked before and are a bit dissapointed with some of my former favorites. Of course they are much better than Tui, Export, DB or Ranfurly. But you also might have a wrong idealized memory of your favorite beers which will lead to disapointments...the same might be true for women ;-(

Anyway, Guiness in Germany (even it seemed to be brewed in Dublin) is disgusting. And as Dan pointed out right: The Beers of the small local breweries still meet all of your expectations (every Duesseldorfer will kill me for that, but I even enjoyed Koelsch. That was when I realized somehow my taste must have changed remarkably).

Hello from the World Cup party in Germany. Fortunately I overrated my influence on the German team so they came to an easy win against Sweden (“you are just a furniture deliverer!”), without me watching it in a pub. But my Mom washed my tricot so there is a new unknown factor for the next one. But it shouldn’t have anything to do with me. Right now (the last month) there is a really good atmosphere here…well if you can stand drinking and singing people in football shirts, flags, face paint and stupid heads .. ah.. hats. I still can, but I was (too) often enough far enough away from the epicenters. Oceania is out, but the good thing is that Italia had only enough money left to pay for one gifted penalty against the Aussies so in the next round it should be a fair game. ;-) They probably spend most of their money to the referees in their own league.

I spent the last week eating dust at the Hurricane festival, where I could see such fantastic Bands as Seed, Manu Chao, Panteon Roccoco, Karamelo Santo, The Hives and The Strokes (and a lot of crab and average). That was fun and well spend money. I would spend way more to see the Germany:Argentina game on Friday but there are other people with more money which I can’t compete with. Fucking FIFA, I want a black market back!!! There should also be a first-buy-right for people who can show football tickets they bought at least ten years ago and NO tickets for companies…but well, it’s a big entertainment business. Still like the game and the happiness and sadness of the most people is still real and not sponsored by Coke (or is it?). Apropos sponsoring…it is shocking to see how crazy people are about freebies from everything. People running after advertisement people giving pink plastic gloves or pink stress balls away. If it at least would be opium..but rubber gloves for the people?? I much more prefer the “bread (beer) and games” strategy of the World Cup. I actually love it!

By the way going to concert with 170cm body size during the world cup is even more difficult than usually. Beside that most people are taller than you, they also wearing the stupid hats and flags (and plastic gloves) mentioned above. I still could see what I wanted except for Muse, as the festival had to be stopped because of a big thunderstorm. There are no festivals without rain. That gave my the questionable pleasure to walk through a 30cm high mixture of dust, a lot of water, vomit, pee and what-do-I-know-else collected in the venue for 3 days, resolved and mixed. So far I got neither herpes nor worse…I think. I am still wondering why on the trucks which were use to clean the toilets was written 'beer recycling'..whats with the purity law?

I am still not really back!? Its about time that I arrive before I leave again.

Schade Deutschland alles ist vorbei! I might overate my influence and we don't deserve it but the game on Saturday might be our last. And its not that I would like them to lose and have to face Dan-sven the Swede in Palmy. But I am going to a festival over the weekend and can't watch it in a pub...you think, so what, but here is my pub watching record:

World Cup 2002

GER:KSA 8:0 (4:0) Pub

GER:IRL 1:1 (1:0) not seen (in plane)

CMR:GER 0:2 (0:0) Pub

GER:PAR 1:0 (0:0) Pub

GER:USA 1:0 (1:0) Pub

GER:KOR 1:0 (0:0) Pub

GER:BRA 0:2 (0:0) private BBQ, how stupid of me…the final

European Cup 2004

Germany 1 – 1 Netherlands
Latvia 0 – 0 Germany
Germany 1 – 2 Czech Republic

None of them in a pub! Bloody New Zealand! ;-)

Celebrating with Ghana beating Czech Republic. Supporting Ivory Coast inm Togohaus. Trying to get tickets reckonizing you are not alone. Celebrating with the Aussies losing against Brasil. Waiting that we can kick out England.

I am already back since a week. Time is running fast as older you get shocking! Even with a big personal disappointment I enjoy my time. We had about 30C for a week! In Germany! Well, was supposed to have a summer holiday anyway! The World Cup is fantastic and after the Poland game I also think we have a real chance..but time will tell.

I have been in Berlin for a few days as I mentioned before. Beside that the fantastic Wellingtonian Fred Freddys Drop a played a great gig I was glad to see friends which I haven’t seen for 3 (or 1 year). Nothing changed, it was as you never have been away. Even we all had different lives, joys and problems. In a way it is weird but very good to know.

But some things are strange in Germany. First, people are friendly. I don’t know if it is the weather, the world cup or my bad expectations as everybody told me (and I completely agreed) how rough we are. But maybe they got special classes before the World Cup. I was really surprised and confused when a visit a shop and the clerk didn’t stop talking to me. Still having a jetlag at this time I couldn’t deal with it and kept it short.

The country (including cars and Kebab shops) is full of Schwarz-Rot-Gold (yeah gold not yellow Dorothee).

Soy milk is available in every shop but in nearly no Café; except in Berlin. Apropos Berlin. I actually spent allmy time in Kreuzberg and Charlottenburg, but if the weather is great Berlin is beautyfull. So I made plans to open my live-gig-vegan-(local beer)-restaurant-pub there. But they already had 50 restaurants/pub providing vegan things. So I better finish my studies until I find another place. I might check out Cologne this weekend (where I also hope to get a ticket for Ghana: Czech).

I know, I said that in Germany we would never put artificial flavours in beer. But to my horror every brand has a lemon, apple, lime and/or cola mix! Blasphemy! The ads are all with beautiful young slime woman in bikinis. The typical beer drinker (in Germany)! So you know why they put the sweet stuff in good beer. That’s directly led me to the world cup and Brasil. A great number of girls chose to become Brasil supporter. This is thanks to the Nike advertisements! (Some are Italy supporters as they apparently look better and that is David Beckhams fault who brought all the Womens weekly readers into the Soccer world). But luckily the world cup is not (yet) a Nike TV spot where Brasil is allowed to do everything and the opponent is due to stand, watch and admire the ballet. After the problems Brasil had with Croatia I think they will lose against Australia. Australia will tackle them hard (hey they even injured two Dutch in a test match before) and Ronaldinho & Co. will be surprised that somebody doesn’t show the respect they are used to from the TV clips and play station games.

Enough football! Gonna watch the All Blacks against Ireland on Sunday as well!

Let me know when the weather is better in Aotearoa than I come back!

Victim of capitalism

I had the wonderful idea to stay in Singapore on the way to Germany. Well I thought it might be wonderful. Just to break up the trip and ease the jetlag. I had three seats in plane for myself and could lie down (but not sleep), yeah! And this time they even didn’t forget my food and I didn’t need to rely on bananas from the personal stuff of the stewardess (this happened last time). In Singapore I made my way to the smoking zone, stepped outside and then thought “what the fuck am doing here”. It was so hot and schwuel that I even didn’t finish my cigarette. The next day I was lost, I didn’t know that breakfast wasn’t included in the Singapore stopover stay. So I went to buy some bananas saw an elephant man (a man looking like the elephant man in the movie not a man on an elephant) which delayed my breakfast further. Then I took the subway as nobody could tell me where the free transportation for the Singapore stopover is. Of course I haven’t had a plan what I wanted to see and took a ticket to a station recommended from a ticket seller (as he would care just putting me into a train to somewhere away from him). I went out of the subway towards the surface excited what I will see. I saw nothing, being just in the middle of skyscrapers. I didn’t even got an idea in which direction I should go. Usually I think I am not to bad in orientating myself in cities. But with the sky being mostly blocked by buildings, not being able to watch around corners, no idea what to see and why, and having a jetlag, I was lost. I felt a bit like Bill Murray in “Lost in Translation”. Even English is the official language here nobody really has it as his native language and I guess maybe only half of the people speak English (or better Engrisch). And from them only half understand Kiwi English in a German accent.

I don’t like Singapore (City Centre (as that is all I got to see)). It’s all so new in the city center. It’s a bit like it has first been built as an empty polished ghost city and then the people have been moved in. It is not grown. Or better its grown so fast that people couldn’t keep up. And everybody tries to sell you something. Being white and a tourist you get known a lot of people. They are friendly (but not in a New Zealand way)

It usually goes like this:

(Optional after trying to ignore them: “Hey Sir! Sir! Sir! Sir! Hey stop, Sir! Yeah you, Sir.”)

“Hello Sir, Where from? England?” (Do I look English?? Insault! But anyway..)

“ I am German.”

“Oh, Guten Tag! Wie gehts?”

“I am fine, thank you. How are you? “

“ I have been to Frankfurt/ going to Stuttgart/ my friend lives in Germany/ worked for a German company/ have a lot of German customers/once drank a German beer/ drive a German car. Pick one

Where in Germany you are living.”

“ I live in New Zealand.” This is followed by another 20 seconds small talk about New Zealand, studying etc.

“How long you in Singapore?” “ –Fill your answer here or run away—“

“You come see my shop. Come I show you my shop. You need suit? Camera?”

“No thanks. I don’t wear suits and my suitcase is full (even there are no suits). I do have a camera!”

“We have the best and cheapest suits in the world, handmade!”

“Yes, but I don’t wear suits! And I don’t have money anyway (Thinking: Piss off!)”

“But you need a suit (camera) for graduation ceremony in New Zealand.”

“They wear robes in New Zealand. You wouldn’t see the suit.” (Anyway, a suit in NZ? They still wearing gumboots). The suit makers usually give up then.

“I do have a camera. I can make pictures! I will not buy anything.”

“But for very cheap we can give you a lenses you can put in front of your camera to improve the focus or wide-angle”

“You want me to glue a additional lenses on my camera??”

”Yes.”

“ I am not buying it.” “Ok, fuck off.”

I heard the “Fuck off” only once and it was mumbled. What was he thinking? Wasting my time and his. Even I am a tourist and Singapore is build for selling doesn’t mean I spend money that I don’t have on things I don’t want. If I want something I come to you and ask you to show me something. Milk another cow!

Couldn’t wait to go back to the service desert Germany where no annoying clerks bother you (the other way round you need to play seek and hide with them if you want something from them). After meeting about 200 people trying to sell me something I was thinking to smash the next capitalist slaves face, but as you get a 1000 dollar fine for public peeing I thought there might be the death penalty for violating the core of Singapore’s culture. So I didn’t do it. Instead I went to see some Buddish and Hindu temples. Which was interesting even I didn’t understand what they did in the Hindu temples. It is kind of funny that opposite both Hindu temples I visit there was a shop selling shoes. (You have to leave your shoes outside the temple before entering). The Buddish praying was explain to me by the only Singaporian I met who didn’t try to sell me anything so I kind of knew what they were doing. According to the Singaporian logic I now can sell Sauerkraut, Lederhosen and Kukuswatches to every Chinese I met here in Germany.

The next day I woke up realizing that bedbugs bite a perfect Southern cross at my throat and the whole Milky Way on my arm. So honestly I was happy to leave Singapore. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend Singapore (and the Albert Court Hotel for that matter).

After one our in the plane (I got my vegan meal with cheese and milk!!!) I tried to figure out how I could remove the seats in front of me but somehow made it through the next 11 hours and arrived in summer. I thought. 13C degrees and gray clouds! So nothing to be jealous about. I am still happy to be in the land of the big gray cloud!